What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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