It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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