just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
