I looked at my own cervix.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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