thus making me awesome and them whores
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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