we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
as a side note pls kill me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
