Nicole vs. Life
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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