I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
