just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
