He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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