she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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