last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
