It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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