so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
