I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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