You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
