my vag is so smooth its legendary
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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