saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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