Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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