I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
