She said her name was "party"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
