I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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