Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
