They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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