Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.