Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
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At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.