I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
