Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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