Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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