you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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