she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
