What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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