looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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