Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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