Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
