Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize