I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
