Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
