Do you still have your period?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
