She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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