This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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