Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
