I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
