hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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