thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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