Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
