the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
