Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
