She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A+ Viking dick
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
