i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
