I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
