I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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