i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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