So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
3pm strippers are depressing
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
