She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
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Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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