My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
