He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
