omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
