dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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