i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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