is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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