I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My pussy is not your playground.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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