Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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