Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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