Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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