I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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